


Fear and Rejection

by TheShyestIcicle



Series: Red Lotus [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV Zevran Arainai, Romance, mentions of torture, nothing graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-23 23:06:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13200498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheShyestIcicle/pseuds/TheShyestIcicle
Summary: In which Fort Drakon is as terrible as it was advertised and Zevran is left to pick up the pieces.





	Fear and Rejection

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the r/dragonage subreddit writing prompt thread, a challenge to write from an Origins companion's point of view.

It was his Warden's whimpers that dragged Zevran out of a fitful sleep.

Truth be told, Zevran hadn't been sleeping well at all lately, only catching small snatches of sleep here and there. It was to be expected, with all that had happened at Fort Drakon, with his Warden-

Zevran flinched slightly at the memory of Mirage's broken body. He had killed those guards, every one that had hurt Mirage, but if he had gotten there sooner...

But there was no use dwelling on it, not when Mirage's whimpers were growing louder, his breath hitching in pain.

Zevran got up from his chair, wincing a bit at his sore muscles. He hadn't left it for the past few days, refusing to leave until his Warden woke.

It seemed pain had woken Mirage, judging from his increasingly distressed whimpers. Zevran took a step towards the bed and Mirage flinched, his whimpers immediately silencing. The small mage slowly looked over, his right eye fixing on Zevran, his left-

His left eye milky and cloudy, rendered blind from the mass of scars and burns on the side of his face.

Zevran clamped down on the rush of anger, the rage he felt at those guards torturing Mirage. His tiny mage did not need to see his anger, not now, not when he was staring at Zevran in such fear.

So Zevran smiled. "Well, my Warden, we have had a good rest, yes?"

Mirage just continued to stare at him, horror and fear twisting his face. For a moment Zevran thought Mirage might not speak, and he went to say something else, something to make Mirage smile.

"Zevran." Mirage's voice was rough and cracked, far from his usual soft, almost lyrical tone. "What... why are you here?"

He sounded almost as if he didn't _want_ Zevran there. Hurt flashed through Zevran, but he ignored it. This wasn't about him.

"You wouldn't expect me to leave you with no one but the dog, now would you?" Said dog, Mirage's Leah, was curled at the foot of the bed, and she grumbled at Zevran.

"No offense meant, of course," Zevran said, flashing a charming smile at the mabari. Leah grunted again, but lay her head down, satisfied.

Normally anything Leah did would make Mirage smile, but the elven mage just looked away. "You don't need to watch over me. I'm _fine_."

His voice cracked slightly, and Zevran had to force himself to keep smiling. "Of course, amor. But surely you could use some company, no? I am excellent company, or so I have been told." He kept his tone light, thinking it might coax a smile from Mirage.

It seemed he was mistaken. Mirage winced. "I don't- I don't need company."

Zevran kept his smile, his tone lighthearted. "No? Not even company as charming as myself?" He reached up to stroke Mirage's face, a gesture that usually relaxed the Warden.

Mirage flinched violently and pulled back. " _Don't._ " He pressed his hand against the scarred side of his face.

A small gesture, one that most might think was due to physical pain. But Zevran had been with Mirage long enough to read the shame in it, the fear.

Fear of rejection, possibly, that Zevran might recoil in disgust if he touched those scares. Mirage had never looked at Zevran with such fear, and Zevran felt a terrible spike of guilt, his mind wandering to that argument over the earring and a rejected invitation, right before assaulting the Fort. Zevran had been cursing himself for that argument ever since, but he had been unable to talk, unable to face it.

But he hadn't imagined that Mirage might feel the same guilt.

He could see that guilt in Mirage's good eye now, the small mage trying to avoid his gaze. "Sorry," Mirage whispered, and he stared down at his hands. "It- it just hurts, is all."

A weak excuse and Mirage knew it. But Zevran forced a carefree grin on his face. "Of course, my Warden. I will fetch Wynne. Talented as my own hands are, they are, alas, not as suited for healing as-"

" _No!_ " Mirage jerked violently and his voice shook. "No, no, don't leave!"

Zevran's grin fell and he opened his mouth. Closed it. There had been such _fear_ in Mirage's voice.

Mirage flinched again. "I- I'm sorry. I didn't- didn't-" He swallowed hard. "I'm not- I shouldn't ha-" His voice was shaking so much.

"Hush, mi amor." Zevran moved closer.

"I-"

"Stop." Zevran's voice was low and Mirage closed his mouth. "Do not apologize. You have done _nothing_ wrong."

Mirage's eyes filled with tears. "I _failed_!" His voice rose to a wail.

Zevran placed his hand on Mirage's scars again. Mirage flinched, but didn't pull away. "You have done nothing of the sort."

Mirage pressed his face against Zevran's palm. "They- I couldn't- I couldn't fight-" He was shivering violently and Zevran pulled him closer.

"D-don't leave. _Please_."

His Warden had never sounded so vulnerable.

"Never," Zevran promised. "I will not leave you, amor."

Mirage pressed his face against Zevran's chest, unable to hold back his tears. "Thank you."

Mirage continued to shake and Zevran started stroking his hair. Whatever happened, no matter how many times they might argue, Zevran would not give Mirage a reason to fear his rejection again.


End file.
